And so I return...

It's been a while. I must apologise. I could give all the usual excuses of being busy but it would not suffice. While I was away the world still went on, so did urban vision. The June holiday brought with it quite a bit of silence as everyone was away. I went back on a Saturday and found a few new faces, searched for some faces i knew but couldn't find.There of course remained some of the guys I'd known from before.

The winter hasn't been very friendly and I for the life of me can't imagine how they manage. A part of me knows I should let the Holy Spirit disturb my quiet, allow me to think of other ways to help, to be more compassionate but selfishly I don't want that to happen. I want to do the work I'm meant to do on Saturday and then forget the guys for the rest of the week but I know God has other plans.

So I seat and talk. I still feel the language barrier but i plod on. I think I'm here for a reason and while I might not always understand the words they say, I can still read their faces and i think sometimes just seating next to them and trying makes a difference.

Julius came up with a Tuesday programme in which the guys go through a development programme. They learn about writing CVs, how to look for jobs and also acquire skills. I'm all for this. Something, anything to make the situation better. A few respond and that's good. It is slow though and I know that even if we are doing ministry, God's using this whole process to teach us something new, open our hearts to deeper levels of compassion.

I went another Saturday and hang around after Samantha left. I watched them play a game with a dice trying to win away from each other the few coins they'd gathered. I'm torn between discouraging them to do so or just letting them be. I let them be, my warning wouldn't work. Not now anyway. I asked how the game is played instead. Apparently if you roll a 'four' with your dice, you win your opponents money, if you play a 'seven' you lose it again or something like that.
One of the guys offers me a drink. I'm careful not to show any disparaging expressions on my face even if the drink is offered in bottle of 7up or Sprite that had had its top half cut off; they are all watching.

I take a whiff of it. Alcohol. I tsk tsk a bit.

"Its a little too early to drink, don't you think?" I say to my now laughing audience and pass the drink back. Still caught in the dilemma of whether I should begin a talk on the dangers of alcohol. Deciding not to, would it work? I wonder.

I engage myself in a conversation with one of the guys. He knows a lot about God and is actually preaching to me. He suggests that I let him preach one time. I tell him to speak to Julius, making a mental note to talk to Jules about him.

A few minutes later, two of the guys break into a fight. I'm at a loss of what to do. I pray silently. the others try to stop it, to no avail. Slowly the noise reduces but even as I was leaving, the two still squabbled away from the others. I feel useless.


My prayer as I leave is for God to show me how to reach them.